by Mike Windham
My best friend in the world, David Earl, can get in trouble standing on the head of a needle. Sometimes he stumbles into situations, but, bless his Southern heart, most times, he runs head first into things he could have sidestepped with little or no effort. There are days when David Earl just doesn’t think about what he’s saying or what others hear him saying. Usually he gets slapped or cursed!
Dixie Lee Mosely is an absolutely, drop dead beautiful young lady I hired a couple of weeks ago. She’s about 5 ft. 6 inches, with long blonde hair and that “California Girl” look. Until the afternoon of her hiring she didn’t know David Earl.
She got married this summer and moved down here from some place up north. She asked me for a job and I hired her to work at the front desk. I’ve always believed having a beautiful receptionist is the first step in Customer Service. She was smart and looked better than expensive wallpaper or high-priced artwork.
Her new husband is Tommy Joe Mosely. He and his Dad are loggers. He played football at Mississippi State. He leaves early, works hard, comes home late, drives a big 4x4 pickup truck, drinks beer on the weekends and dips snuff. Typical young man in Mississippi, I would offer.
Here’s the story as David Earl described it.
He drives into town and comes to see me. He’s hoping I’ll take him to lunch and we can talk a little business. He forgets I’m out of town for a couple of days. My office door is locked. That means the beer in the refrigerator is safe until my return. But David’s brain is locked also. He thinks I’ll be back in a few minutes, so he sits in his truck and waits for my return. Free beer will make a fellow do such!
While sitting there thinking I’ll return, he looks across the parking lot and sees a couple in a big 4x4 pickup truck. The truck had a couple of MSU stickers on the window and bumper. The couple inside the truck were “going at it” as we would say when trying to be polite. They are embraced! They are romantically involved! They are intertwined in the front seat of that truck, in broad day light. She’s all over him . . . and then he’s all over her. The two newlyweds are lip to lip, nose to nose, cheek to cheek and whatever to whatever as the clock ticks towards 1:00 pm.
David Earl told me he hadn’t seen that much activity in a front seat since he and I double dated the Calcote Girls back in high school. He said it reminded him of fishing in the Gulf of Mexico and watching porpoises come up for air.
Now, time wise, this goes on for about 15 or 20 minutes. David Earl says he was waiting on my return and minding his own business. He told me, “I didn’t try to watch, didn’t want to watch, but there’s a little voyeur in all of us.” I reminded him there’s a lot of little boy still residing in his mentality!
He swears he stopped watching, but I know him better than that! A minute or two before one o’clock, the young lady exits the truck and walks across the parking lot, shuffling her feet, smoothing her hair, pulling and straightening her clothes with every step.
I can just imagine what David Earl was thinking, even though I don’t dare.
The girl unlocks the front door of my office. Then she turns toward the truck and uses her right hand to blow one more kiss toward the driver. She goes inside.
David Earl sits in his truck for another minute or two. Then he gets out and heads toward my office.
Here’s where he took the wrong turn. He could have made any other decision, but he chose not to. He decided to stick his head in the office and leave a message for me, or so he says. He steps inside and the first thing he sees is this young lady, still fussing with her long blonde hair and with a Cheshire cat’s smile on her face.
“And sir, what can I do for you?” she asked.
That’s when David Earl forgot to think before he opened his mouth. It happened in a heartbeat. Like a bolt of lightning and then it was too late.
David sat on my back porch, nursing a bruised lip. I laughed when he said, “She was up and across the desk before I . . .” He was silent as he just shook his head.
Mike Windham is a successful business owner and part-time writer from Brookhaven, Mississippi. He's got a lot more college than any of his high school teachers imagined, finally settling for 3 degrees from 3 Mississippi universities. He loves Ole Miss and the Deep South, and he still has problems with Yankees and lawyers. He owns a 28 year old pickup truck that was a gift from his family, a 4 wheel drive hunting truck, 2 dogs, 4 pairs of bib overalls, 3 chain saws, 2 guns and a pocketknife.
Mike has been a motivational speaker and management/marketing consultant in the insurance industry since 1998. He teaches continuing education workshops nationwide. He has had more than 100 articles and essays published about business management and insurance related topics.
The Job Interview
How To Buy A Strip Club
Buying a Dog on Saturday Night
Please visit our Message Board
or write Ye Editor at email@example.com.
Back to USADEEPSOUTH - I index page
Back to USADEEPSOUTH - II index page