There is a phrase many in the Have-You-Lost-Your-Mind world have perfected as we go through our day-to-day activities on the Outside... “I homeschool.” We find ourselves chanting this as we walk through the store early in the day and people ask why our kids aren't where they're supposed to be. They might word it more nicely than that. Maybe something like, “Is it a holiday?” or “Are they all sick?” (which really just means oh-my-gosh-you're-infecting-the-whole-store!), but regardless of how they manage to phrase it, my answer is the same: “I homeschool.”

This usually brings about one or two different reactions. The most prevalent being complete and utter shock. They don't even try to control their facial expressions. I might as well have just told someone from Memphis that I've never heard of Elvis. The jaw drops and their eyes grow large and round. The next line is some form of “Why on earth would you do THAT?" Some might toss the ball into their own court and say something about how they could never do it and more power to ya, sister. But the shock of anyone choosing to do such a thing is very evident. They now believe you to be utterly insane and probably think you're stockpiling weapons in your nursery closet... just in case.

The other reaction is one of pity, as if I had just said that all of my children are incapable of being placed in traditional schools because of their inability to function at a normal level. They'll pat my hand in a comforting manner and nod as if that one sentence just gave them great insight into my home life -- and it wasn't pretty. In the early days, this would bother me and I would break out into a song and dance routine wherein each of my kids would be forced to recite ancient Greek philosophers or conjugate verbs while drawing in pointillism on the back of my checkbook. Mostly, this just frightened old ladies. Now I smile and nod as we merrily push our cart of mentally disabled children toward the cereal aisle so that they can see all the pretty colored boxes.

There are times when the knowledge of our choice can be a little embarrassing. Say, when I make a mockery of a simple math problem in front of other adults -- adults who know of our non-traditional choice. This is when I cock my head to the side and say, with self-deprecating humor, “Yeah... I homeschool.”

They'll rarely get that educating our own kids has little to do with our knowing it all and more to do with how and when we choose to present it. They just hear my mistake and glance sideways at each other as if to say, “See? Her kids will be lucky to get into a state school.”

Of course, not everyone is negative toward homeschooling. Every once in a while I meet someone who thinks it's a great idea, even if it's not specifically for them. These are the people who notice when our kids use words that are several grades ahead of their age or catch on to the fact that my children approach education with fervor instead of dread. And even though it's never actually spoken in this instance, these people will hold my gaze just long enough to sense the sentence my mind is yelling inside of my head... “I homeschool!”

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