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Mr. Bob Malone’s New Cadillac
by Kent Fletcher



Mr. Bob Malone owned a lot of Mississippi Delta acreage over on the riverside below Rosedale, best I remember -- lots of cotton and probably rice crops as well. Ole King Cotton had made Mr. Bob a very rich man, but at the same time he was still a very gracious man. And being a rich man, he could do darned well as he pleased -- buy a new car when the urge stuck him, take a trip when the urge struck him, puff those expensive stogies when the urge struck him.

Mr. Bob had gone to Kossman's and purchased a brand-spanking-new Cadillac Coupe DeVille, and was heading out toward his farm below Rosedale. He got just a little ways out of town on Highway 8 when a buzzer started sounding from the dashboard. He didn't pay it any mind at first, just kept on going.

When he turned off at Pace, of course, he had to slow down. Well, the buzzing stopped. Once he got on the other side of Pace, he picked up speed once again, and yep, the buzzing began again. He couldn't figure out what it was, but he didn't notice anything different in the car, out of the normal anyway. Except that incessant buzzing. So he drove the rest of the way to his farm with the buzzing going constantly.

When he was ready to return home to Cleveland, he went by way of Rosedale and took Highway 8 all the way back to town. As he pulled out of Rosedale, the buzzing started once again. He figured if he drove a little faster, the buzzing might go away. Well, it did go away eventually, but he related later that he was making a pretty fast clip, say around 100 mph or so before it quit. And once he slowed back down the buzzing returned.

A couple days later Mr. Bob returned to Kossman's, complaining about the buzzing emanating from the dash. One of the salespersons went out for a drive with him so he could show the man what he was talking about. Heading out Highway 8 once again, the buzzing began, and Mr. Bob pointed it out to the salesperson.

And what was this buzzing nuisance?

Just the speed reminder. But Mr. Bob was not going to let that get his goat. He accelerated and sped on by it!

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A native Mississippian and retired military, Kent Fletcher now lives in Texas. He’s a storyteller from way back. Enjoy more of his tales at USADEEPSOUTH:
Last Locomotive North
Sticky Situation
Laundry Day

Check the USADS Articles list for many more! Write Kent at HOTS64.


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