Dreams are crazy, aren't they?

Sometimes, though, when I dream something fantabulous like the prospect of being a back-up singer for Mickey Gilley and then wake up before I actually have a chance at the big time, I'm, well, disturbed (to say it nicely). I try to go back to sleep so I can dive into the dream again, but that never works, leaving me greatly disappointed.

Like last night. I was going to a University of Tennessee football game, my arms full of blankets. Wandering around the stadium grounds, looking for an entrance (I'd never been to a University of Tennessee football game), I started noticing all these green plants lying around. I decided if I could gather the green plants and take them with me into the stands I could make it really pretty when the football players looked up from the field.

The problem was that I was lugging those blankets. What to do? Just in the nick of time, actress Demi Moore appeared and offered to carry the blankets so I could gather the plants. Then I woke up. Just when I was about to become bosom buddies with Demi Moore, cooperating on an exemplary beautification project, I roused from my dream, and I guess I'll never meet Demi Moore again.

Oh, well. These may have been crazy dreams, but at least they weren't scary - like getting chased by a lawnmower or something.

Did you know that women actually have more nightmares than men? I read about this on the Net several days ago. A recent article on a research study at the University of the West of England (honest, that's the name) quotes Dr. Jennie Parker:

"My most significant finding is that women in general do experience more nightmares than men . . . Women seem to have more unpleasant dreams than men and unpleasant dreams contained more misfortune, self-negativity and failures. Women's dreams contained more family members, more negative emotion . . . than men's dreams."

My most vivid nightmares over the years have been the common "chase" dream, where I'm trying to outrun someone or something, and my feet won't move. Or I'm trying to scream and only a hoarse whisper comes out.

The other, which I've dreamed probably two million times, is shared also with thousands and thousands of people who report their dreams. I'm wandering around a big building, trying to find my classroom. I have a test, and I haven't been to class in months. I'm terrified and facing sure failure.

I hate those bad dreams, but the good news is that, whether you're male or female, many scientists think all dreams - crazy, frightening, as well as pleasant - definitely enhance our quality of life, leading to better health.

The bad news is that through sleeping pills, antidepressants and alcohol, our modern lifestyles are suppressing our dreaming. Dr. Rubin Naiman, author of Healing Night: The Science and Spirit of Sleeping, Dreaming and Awakening explains that he believes there's a clear connection between serious illness and lack of dreaming.

"This is not simply about sleep loss," he claims. "We are at least as dream deprived as we are sleep deprived."

He cites serious illnesses like cancer and depression as results of too little dream time. Is he correct? I don't know, but the assumption seems plausible. If Dr. Naiman is right, I figure I'm okay.

As long as I keep having dream chats with Mickey and Demi, keep going to football games and beautifying the bleachers, and continue to evade things that go "boo" in the night, I should stay healthy and happy.

Sleeping pills, other meds, alcohol cause fewer healthy dreams? That's something to think about.