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New Southern Drug Approved by FDA
by Eddie Edwards Draper

        The American Medical Association came out today with
        a new Southern drug. This amazing pharmaceutical wonder
        has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration;
        however, there are some side effects. The most common
        side effects are listed below. Take only as directed.

      The most common side effects include:
      ~~Some folks may experience a yearning to listen to Delta blues; no drowsiness will occur.

      ~~Some people may experience a desire to wander down Mississippi Highway 61, looking for Robert Johnson at the crossroads in Clarksdale.

      ~~In one case study, fifteen people were heard whistlin' "Dixie." Recovery was speedy and only minor complications were reported.

      ~~Some folks detected a "drawl" in their speech. This was reported to linger for a long time.

      ~~Another side effect was a craving for collard greens, cornbread, blackeyed peas and other delicious Southern cuisine.

      ~~Several women were known to don big hats and travel to the Kentucky Derby and drink Mint Juleps. They were also known to sing "My Ole Kentucky Home." This condition, however, only occurred once a year.

      ~~Mississippi sunsets were reported to linger in some of the subjects' minds for days on end. Research showed the subjects had trouble, even under counseling, to erase those images.

      ~~The biggest concern in this study was the abnormality of the subjects who wanted to relocate to another part of the country to escape the trauma of this drug. These subjects weren't right in the head.

      Please consult with your doctor. Remember to follow the directions and read the inserted information before taking this drug for long periods of time. Most of these side effects are permanent.


Eddie Draper is a native of the Mississippi Delta. He now lives and works
in Nashville, Tennessee, where he is a songwriter and musician.
E-mail Eddie at Gravelroadmusic.


To read Eddie's poetry, click here: POEMS
And here: MORE POEMS

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