The arrangement worked out rather well for everyone. The kids attended school, and the girls helped Aunt Emma with household chores. Billy was Uncle Dode’s “podnuh” and constant shadow as he went about the business of taking care of his cattle and other livestock and doing the other various things involved in his daily routine.

It was a few days before Christmas and the tree had been selected, cut and decorated. Aunt Emma and the girls were in the middle of cooking up all kinds of goodies for Christmas treats. The kids’ presents had all been purchased and were wrapped and safely hidden, awaiting Santa‘s Christmas Eve visit. The kids were on their best behavior lest Santa see them misbehave and place them on his “naughty list.” Actually, the girls were on their best behavior; Billy was still being a normal six year old boy, getting into enough trouble to merit a switching from Aunt Emma about every other day.

Billy’s antics amused Uncle Dode and, while Billy was out of earshot, he enjoyed relating Billy’s latest misadventures to his friends at the feed store or when he stopped by the tavern for a cold beer -- like the time Billy tied Aunt Emma’s two favorite cats’ tails together or the night he brought two puppies and a week old pig in to spend the night in his room because they were cold. Of course, to Billy he had to be the stern adult and told him that if he didn’t straighten up and act right Santa Claus would be filling his stocking with horseshit and switches rather than presents and goodies. (This was Texas, and kids had no idea what coal was, so lumps of coal didn’t make much sense.)

Billy’s reply was always, “No, sir, Uncle Dode, I’ve been a good boy, and Santy’s gonna bring me a pony for Christmas.” In those days, getting a pony was as important to a boy as getting a bicycle is to boys today.

Uncle Dode fully intended to get Billy a pony; he and Billy had even picked out the one for him. Dewey Cadwalder had two that were just right, that his boys had outgrown. The trouble was that ol’ Dewey was asking $20 a piece for them. Dode knew that Dewey was taking advantage of the Christmas season to jack up his prices, so he planned to wait until a few weeks after Christmas and buy Billy’s pony for half the price. He figured on Christmas day he’d tell Billy some kind of story about Santa not having room on his sleigh for the pony and they were going to have to pick it up later.

While making their daily rounds, everywhere they went, someone would ask, “Billy, what’s Santa Claus bringing you for Christmas?” And Billy would always answer, “I’ve been a good boy, and Santy’s gonna bring me a pony.”

“No, you’ve been bad with your Aunt Emma, and Santa’s bringing you a stocking filled with horseshit and switches,” said Uncle Dode. This exchange continued daily until Christmas Eve finally arrived.

As was customary, Aunt Emma and Uncle Dode entertained friends with eggnog and Christmas cheer. Along about 9:30 or so, the friends all sang one last carol, drank a final toast, then departed for their homes. The kids hung their stockings on the fireplace mantel and went to bed, and before long, when Aunt Emma checked, they were in dreamland, anticipating the thrills of Christmas morning.

Aunt Emma and Uncle Dode went to work retrieving Christmas gifts from their various hiding places and putting them under the Christmas tree. Then they filled each child’s stocking with the stocking stuffers. There were combs, brushes, hand mirrors and handkerchiefs for the girls and marbles, tops and a pocketknife for Billy, plus fruit, nuts and hard candies for all.

After the stockings were filled, Emma and Dode were enjoying one last cup of eggnog before retiring when Uncle Dode decided to play a little joke on Billy. He removed Billy’s stocking from the mantel and hid it in the kitchen pantry. Then he got another and went out to the barn and proceeded to fill it with fresh horseshit. On his way back to the house, he cut four or five switches from the willow tree growing by the water trough, which he also placed in the stocking. Over Aunt Emma’s objections, he hung this stocking in place of Billy’s, spilling some of its contents onto the hearth below and vowing to clean it up in the morning. Then they toasted each other one last time, finished the eggnog, turned out the lights and retired for the night.

Uncle Dode, being an early riser, arose about 4:00 on Christmas morning. He quietly dressed so as not to disturb the others and went downstairs. He stoked up the fire in the fireplace and put his morning coffee on the stove to percolate.

The coffee had only been made a few minutes, and as Uncle Dode was “saucerin’ and blowin’ it," he heard the noise as Billy awakened and dressed. Then Uncle Dode listened to the clomp of Billy's boots as he ran down the stairs to check out his bounty from Santa’s visit. Billy ran from the foot of the stairs into the room where awaited the Christmas gifts under the tree and gift-filled stockings hung on the mantel. Dode listened as the steps stopped in front of the tree as Billy checked there and then walked over to the fireplace to examine his stocking on the mantel. He heard the boy say, “Uh oh!”

Billy ran into the kitchen and, only glancing at Uncle Dode, continued to the back door. Stopping only long enough to pull the latch key, Billy was through the door and outside.

Uncle Dode looked at the door and thoughtfully sipped his coffee, a little worried by Billy’s behavior and wondering if his joke may have been a bit much and was about to backfire. He'd decided to get up to go find Billy and confess his trick, when Billy burst back in the door, shouting, “Uncle Dode! Uncle Dode! You’ve got to come help me right now! Hurry up, we got to hurry!"

Dode saw the tears streaming down the boy’s cheeks and had pangs of guilt about the stocking trick. He was about to confess when Billy tugged at his sleeve and said, “C’mon, Uncle Dode, let me show you.”

Dode rose and followed the breathless boy to the fireplace where he knew the stocking stuffed with horseshit and switches hung. He was really feeling guilty and dreading the hurt feelings and crying he was sure he’d have to deal with from the boy, when Billy said, “Just look here, Uncle Dode, just look here,” pointing at the droppings on the hearth that had spilled from the stocking the night before. “Just look here! Santy left me a pony, but he got away and we need to go find him right now.”


EPILOGUE: Uncle Dode and Billy “found” the lost pony. They arrived at Dewey Cadwalder’s place just after sunup and there it was. Of course, ol' Dewey, having the true Christmas spirit and all, only charged Uncle Dode $35 for holding the $20 runaway pony.

(This story is true. Billy was my daddy, Bill Harlan.)