by Mike Bay
As the calendar turns, around once again comes Thanksgiving, an annual holiday event, though probably as misunderstood from its origins as Spam is. Not that I've tried to understand the origins of Spam, but I digress.
Of course, it's not only the season of Thanksgiving: it's football, hockey and basketball season. It's the beginning of the Christmas decorating and shopping season. Among certain animations, it's wabbit or duck season. And we have the benefit of the remnants of a couple shooting wars in the Middle East, which is good practice for anyone planning to engage in the shopping end of Christmas season.
However, for my purposes I'll stick with the Thanksgiving theme, and something near and kind of dear to my heart and gastrointestinals: bachelor recipes.
Being a bachelor -- not to mention having to work the traditional holiday this year -- I'll be missing out on the standard Thanksgiving family gathering, sporting the usual Thanksgiving fare: turkey, dressing, potatoes, salads, pies, breads, veggies, antacids. That means I'm left to my own devices this year, and from previous references to my acumen in the kitchen, you know that mine tends to resemble a terrorist camp HQ after a US air attack.
However, this year I've come up with something different, to give me the festive spirit of Thanksgiving, the culinary feel of same, and probably a few dozen other things in the aftermath I've not yet considered as consequences. My very own, just invented and unique 'turkey' recipe, created in my guise of bachelor chef and culinary barbarian implosionaire:
Culinary Barbarian Turkey Surprise
Mike Bay is a free-lance humor writer and accomplished ceiling pencil sticker during writers' block. Born in Iowa, subsisting in Colorado, he has parental and other ancestral links on both sides of the Mason-Dixon line. He's a former newspaper columnist, a member of the NetWits and National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and has been published in the quarterly Satire, on various websites and ezines, on his very own website (outofthinair) and in an upcoming book, Serenade of the Stinkweed, an anthology of marital experiences by Jeanni Brosius, Bandal Books. A life-long bachelor, he's still waiting to receive his BS in it, and trying to figure out why he needs a degree to prove what he's full of.
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